The Cost of my Life
by bbclyokomutant
Summary: A psychic girl enrolled at Kadic when the Lyoko warriors shut off the super computer and she meets the ghost of XANA. Summary sucks, I know. Minor UxY, JxA, and major XANAxOC. Also: FANfiction. I don't own Code Lyoko(sadly). Chapter ten now up!
1. Chapter 1

I looked up at the stone arches because

I hadn't been to a school in five years because

Johnny wouldn't have let me go

But he got married and

Now Johnny doesn't have enough time for me and then

Mary(Johnny's wife) said to Johnny

"Don't worry she'll be fine and we'll have more alone time"

And he said

"Good idea honey and I'm sure that by now she's over it"

And I wasn't supposed to hear that but

The vents in our house are all connected and

They were talking kinda loud cause

They had had wine

I wasn't in the kitchen with them cause Jessica said

"Honey your brother and I need our alone time"

And I went upstairs because I know what alone time means

And when I came down the next day

Johnny had made pancakes and

He said

"Hey honey guess what you're going to school it's a boarding school in France"

And I nodded because good, I'm glad to get back to my education but really

Good, I'm glad to get out of this house because this house

This house, I don't like for a very good reason

And that reason is

I'm psychic which not everyone likes

And they call me psycho

But I'm not maybe Barry is he says he buried a farmer's daughter(alive) on our land

And he said

"You'll tell them right that I killed her because I feel so guilty"

And I just say yes, of course I will but I won't because

I don't know who they are I don't know why he feels guilty and

I live in Manhatten so Barry must be old

(Too old for people to remember)

But Jack

(He's one of my favorites)

says that it takes a special sort of person to say yes but not mean it

And Lizzie is like a mom to me she didn't do it she says

And I believe her because

She's so sweet she makes you feel like you matter

(Even if everyone says you don't)

And she cried when she heard about my parents and no one cries

About a house fire leaving a little girl orphaned unless

Someone knew how that felt so Lizzie

Must know.

But now I have to walk through those gates and

I can hear someone there

But they're not really there because

Someone walked right through the woman calling to me so

I sigh and

Walk through the gates and

Lizzie's next to me and

She's saying good luck just

Go to the factory if you need me because

Lizzie can't go on the grounds you see because

On schools only ghosts who went there can get on the grounds and Lizzie says

She didn't go to school so

I was alone without her when I went to school and after school

She would cry

(The way ghosts do)

And say sorry, I'm sorry, I should've gone

And I just say don't worry about it I don't mind but

I do mind like how I mind right now when a boy walks no runs into me and

Stays on top of me for a few seconds and we have eye contact

(Not much but now I know his deathnumber(041623)and I hate knowing that) so I

Push him off of me and

Some of his friends are giggling

But

One girl comes over and

She has long black hair and she's wearing pink and

She looks like my mom so I kind of stare at her while she helps me up and she asks

"Are you okay" and I

Nod because I can't say no I'm not because I'd go to the

Infirmary and ghosts hang out there and there's

Too many voices and I turn and the boy is talking to me and

"Sorry I wasn't watching where I was going are you okay"

And I nod because I can't say no I'm not because I'd go to the infirmary and

Ghosts always stay there to welcome new people in and he snaps

His fingers in my face

(Like that'll make me here him better)

And says

"Are you sure" and

He's holding my shoulders so I shake out of them and nod yes and then I

Realize my suitcase popped open and it was

The one with all my clothes in it and

Johnny says I'm an early bloomer so

You can guess and I'm

Hurrying to get it back in the suitcase and the boy blushes and

Closes his eyes and the two other boys do too but

The girls (three) help me get it all back in my suitcase and

I'm red

(Like Marie)

But not and I finally

Get all my clothes in my suitcase and have it shut and I hear Lizzie giggling and

The girl who helped me stand up says

"Hi I'm Sissi who are you"

And the two other girls roll their eyes like

How Sissi but I think

Sissi seems really nice

(Nicer than the boys)

So I say

"Beri Mae" real quiet cause

When I say that they call me

Pie and

June and

Mayberry and

Mah bury and

Berry sad and

Psycho but

(Not till later) but the girl smiles real big and says

"What a cute name are you looking for the principal's office" and

I nod yes but don't talk because I

Only say that one thing when I go to school because

My voice sounds real high like a

Powerpuff girl but

I'm not I'm barely a

(Normal)

Girl

But the girl(Sissi) smiles and says

"Here I'll show you where to go" and

I just follow her and she

Asks me questions like

"What grade are you in"

And I say

"Eighth" because even though I'm

Ten I still know a lot because

Lizzie and Jack and Barry and Marie all tell me about their life so I know

A lot about history and

Al, he's one of my best friends, he taught me about

Math and Science and then

Charlie he taught me about

Books and psychology and

Vinny he taught me about art and

Amadeus he taught me about music so I know

A lot about the world around and behind me and then Sissi says

"Okay we're here" when we get there and I just say

"Thanks" and I walk into is office and he sits there with his arms

Folded like he's disappointed in me but I make eye contact and he softens and says

"And you are" and I say

"I'm Beri Mae Finch" and he nods like I see and says

"Here is your room key and map and class schedule" and I nod because

Yes, thank you very much but really

So can I leave and he says

"Go ahead and get yourself settled in I'll have my daughter Sissi show you around" And

I realize that the girl who seems nice

(Sissi)

Is the principal's daughter and

That's why the other kids don't like her and I

Leave the office and Sissi says

"So I guess I'll show you around" and I nod because

Yes, that's what the principal said and she shows me my room

(I thank her) and I

Unpack and put up a poster and hear someone behind me say

"So this is the girl" and I

Turn around and see a woman

(Ghost) leaning against the wall because

Well, there's no other place and she says

"Hello" and I

Nod because I want to be polite and she smiles at me and says

"How do you like my daughter" and I say

"Who" and she says

"Sissi" and I say

"She's really nice" and the woman says

"You remind her of her sister her sister died when she drowned in the river" I say

"Could I meet her" and the woman sighs and says

"I haven't seen her yet but you might be able to" and I nod and the woman turns sad

"Should I go" she asks and I say

"Yes please" and the woman nods and floats down through the floor and I am happy she's gone because I still have to unpack.


	2. Chapter 2

When I wake up the next day my alarm

(Pokemon)

Goes off at six thirty and

I get up and grab my towel and a bath robe and I go down to the showers

(Sissi showed me)

And go in and I am glad to see that the showers are in stalls so

No one has to see the ugly scars and feel bad

For that poor little girl

(They want to know what happened)

Who did that to her

(Was it with a knife or just their nails)

And I shower really fast I shampoo and condition and then I

Wrap my towel around me and leave my stall

(Still no one there)

And I

Start singing while I braid my hair and someone says

"You're really good" and I turn around and I see

The girl

(Pink hair)

From yesterday and I say

"Oh thank you" and the girl nods and goes into a stall and I finish really fast and

Don't sing and I put on my robe and

Go back to my room and get dressed

(Short white dress white sandals white headband)

And comb out my hair so it's long and shiny and I check my schedule

(Breakfast from two minutes from now to seven thirty)

So I get my bag full of whatever I need

(My books some headphones a Rubik's cube)

And go down to the cafeteria where a happy lunch lady

(Rosa)

Gives me a pancake and a packet of syrup and I

Sit down

(Alone)

And eat it slowly but I'm still done before everyone else gets there except for

"I'm not really hungry today Rosa"

And I turn around and it's

The boy from yesterday who crashed into me who's 041623 and he says

"I'm not really hungry today Rosa" twice but

Rosa gives him extra servings instead and I can

Tell he won't eat any because something bad

(Death or sickness or malady)

Will happen today and he doesn't like it but

That happens to everyone even little girls

Who didn't really do anything who's downstairs neighbor said

"This is the work of God to keep you in your place you wicked girl" after her parents

Died in a fire that he police marked

(Suspicious)

And now she can't ever

Have them there when she

Graduates or

Gets a job or

Gets married or

Gets cheated on or

Or or or or

She tries to commit suicide when she's six because she got bullied because

She doesn't have any parents because something

(Suspicious)

Happened and now you have to

Live

With

It but

Not everyone can

And I think maybe this is why the boy isn't really hungry today Rosa and

Why did she laugh at him

I struggle

(Just enough)

In classes

Because otherwise too much I go

Down

And too little I go

Up but I'm just

Challenged enough to

Concentrate and for that

I'm glad and

After classes I go down to the factory

(Lizzie showed me) and

She's there but so is

"I'm not very hungry today Rosa" and

"You're really good" and

The girl who rolled her eyes with

"You're really good" and also the

Boys who squeezed their eyes shut when my

Suitcase opened and they

Flick a switch and the lights

Go off and they leave and I watch

Once they're gone

I turn to Lizzie and she says real quiet

"Listen"

So I do and I hear someone moaning

(New dead) and

I go down to see who it is and it's

A boy

My age and

He has reddish floppy hair and

Nice green eyes and I think

Gingers do have souls but even though

My Downstairs Neighbor said

"Gingers have no souls" but this one is special

"Help me" he says and I nod because

I can't not help him so I help him up and he smiles at me and he says

"Excuse me but could you tell me who I am" and I say

"I don't know who you are sorry" and he says

"Oh okay" and then he says

"Who's she" and he's pointing at Lizzie and I say

"That's Ms B" and I think he's dead and he says

"Like Lizzie Borden" and I say

"Yes " and he says

"Cool" and he leaves the factory and I follow him and I can see he's going to the

School and once he's on the school border he tries to take another step and

Boom

He gets thrown back twenty feet and he looks at me and says

"What happened" and I say

"You can't go there" and he says

"Well why not" and I say

"You're a ghost now" and he says

"What" and I say

"Ghosts only go on school grounds if they went there when they were alive" and he

Looks at me like

You're the psycho one and he says

"But ghosts don't exist they're illogical" and I say

"Ghosts don't have to be logical like Barry he's crazy" and the boy sighs and says

"So what do I do" and I say

"Go back to the factory I'll see you tomorrow" and he nods like yes and says

"Tomorrow" and I say

"Tomorrow" because there's nothing sadder than a ghost who

Doesn't know and

That's why Lizzie and Al and Jack and Barry and everyone talks to me to

Remember but I can't even

Remember

The

(Suspicious)

House fire.


	3. Chapter 3

When I wake up

(Fifteen minutes later than usual)

Someone's already in the showers and

That means that someone will say

What happened to that poor girl

Who would do that

Was it a knife or just fingernails so I shower

Real quick because I hate people who

Ask those questions and then the people who

Pretend to know the answer and lie

But I shower really fast

(So they won't notice)

And I braid my hair really fast and I

Hurry back down to my room and I

Put on a

White t-shirt

White jeans

White socks

And black Mary Jane shoes and I

Go down to the cafeteria with my bag and realize that I'm

Not really hungry today so I go to

The forest to visit the boy before

School starts and he's

Right there and he looks excited and says

"I remember my name" and I say

"What is it" and he says

"My name is Xana" and I nod and he looks like he has

Something else to tell me but school starts

Soon and I have to get back so I say

"I'll head over to the factory after school Xana but I have to go" and I

Run back to school and discover that

The school scheduled an all-day

Fire Drill so the school is stuck outside and so I sit down and

Pull out the Rubik's cube and

(Mess it up a little bit)

Since I've already solved it

(Three times)

But it is good at

Distracting me and

Not talking to people no one else sees and

I am almost done

(Again) when

(Again)

041623 crashes into me but

This time he has a

Frisbee so I guess they were playing

Ultimate Frisbee or something because otherwise

Who crashes into people when they're just playing

Regular old frisbee

The boy stands up quickly and says

"Sorry about that again" and I nod and

Go back to my Rubik's Cube and he stands there

(Like he wants to say something) but instead he

Sighs and leaves and school

Ends then so I can go see

Xana and he's

Bouncing on his heels and I say

"What is it" and he says

"Just follow me I'll show you"

So I follow him and he

Leads me along the path to the factory and when we get to

The bridge he says

"Okay so I remembered some of my past and I can come back to life" and I say

"How" and he says

"All you have to do is flip the switch in the factory" and I say

"Which one" and he says

"Here I'll show you" and he grabs my hand and he

Sinks

(Through the ground) and he

Takes me through the levels and

Even though

I've done this before with

Lizzie I still

Hold my breath because

It's a little scary

Seeing everything

Inside the walls

Xana lets go and I see

A giant black and yellow

Pillar with a lever sticking out and Xana says

"Go turn it on and I'll be alive" and I do because I

Can't not and when I turn

Around Xana's gone and I

Kind of knew this would happen since when I first

Saw Xana there was no

Body so I guess he wasn't ever

Really dead.


	4. Chapter 4

I have to climb

Three flights of stairs

(Since Xana can't float me out)

And I am talking to

Lizzie

Who says that

Xana was dead but he was dead in a

Different way and then I hear

"Beri Mae" and it's Xana and I look around and say

"Xana" and Xana says

"Listen to me Beri go down a level to the computer room do exactly what I

Tell you to do and we can talk" and I like Xana so I go down and

Xana tells me to press

Alt Ctrl up down 30 30:00 and to

Run into a room with

Three ports inside it and I

Climb in and there's

Flash

And I'm on my knees in a

Desert wearing a

Green t-shirt and some

Green and black bangles and

Black knee high boots

(Faux leather) and a

Black and

Dark purple mini skirt and

I am pleased because in truth

I hate the color white but Mary thinks

It makes me look absolutely precious and

Johnny likes Mary so

I wear it and then I see

Xana walking towards me and

He looks the same except for

He's wearing a black t-shirt and

Black jeans and

Black Chuck Taylors and a

Black jacket and I have to say that

With his hair

He looks hot and he looks at me and

Spreads his arms as though to say

"I own all of this" but all he says is

"Welcome to Lyoko Beri" and I say

"Is this where you're from Lyoko" and he nods and then I say

"I have to go Xana school but I'll see you tomorrow" and Xana

Nods but it's more like a

"Let's see what I can do to change this" nod than a

"OK then" nod and I remember

Mary nodding like that when she saw me and I

Hit myself to

Make the memories go away

Real quick because

I don't like thinking about those memories and

Flash

I'm back on Earth and I

Hurry to get back to the dorms before

Jim goes to

Dorm Inspection

To check if

Everyone's in their dorm and

I don't want to get in trouble already so I

Run real fast but I

Forgot Lizzie and I don't

Entirely know my way back and I realize that

I'm standing in front of a creepy old house

(The gate says The Ermitage)

And there's a woman standing there and I say

"Excuse me do you know the way to Kadic" and she

Turns and I see her eyes and

Her eyes are

Black

Nothing

Empty holes and

I know what this means

It means that this woman is a

Tortured

Soul

(Someone who had an unimaginably hard life) and

Granny taught me this one

She said

"Since you are sighted you must free the tortured souls" and so I

Take a step towards the woman and

She doesn't flinch

"You must go slowly in case they are frightened"

I ease my hand up to her forehead

"Place your hand on their forehead"

And focus

"Focus on memories"

I gasp

The memories are

Overwhelming

I can't breathe

A woman in the snow is put in an armored van with men from the government

Her daughter stands there and cries as

The woman watches her child die inside

The woman ends up in

France and they take her to a

Metal place

Where they

Charge the walls with electricity and

Tortured her for answers and

She doesn't know she pleads

Please let her go

She didn't know

She had no idea

Please he never told her about his past

But

They torture her and she just

Dies one day but

Not all the way

She still eats

(Mechanically)

And sleeps

(Stares at the ceiling)

But

Nothing besides the essentials

The doctors try harder to

Bring some

Life into her but

Her husband's not going to come for her she knows

He could've

He didn't

Her daughter only has her father to raise her now

She won't see her daughter grow up

One day a doctor brings in a current picture of her daughter

She is seven

Gap toothed

Grinning

Pink hair long

Pink sundress

And the woman screams

She claws at the doctor

She hates him

She doesn't know this

Gap toothed

Long haired

Sundress wearing imposter

Her daughter in her mind is

Three

Short pink hair

Pink skirt

Hello Kitty top

Says her "s"s as "th"s

She's

Not this

Gap toothed

Long haired

Sundress wearing imposter

The doctors make a note

Images of offspring instigate violence

One day the torture

Kills the woman

Her last words were

"Stay away from my daughter you creeps"

(Not really but she doesn't swear)

And then she

Woke up in the forest

Dead

Unsure

But sure

She walked directly to

The Ermitage and

Stood there until

This strange girl

Interrupted her and

Screaming

Ghostly wails as

Barry and

Lizzie and

Al and

Amadeus all

Come to see because

As ghosts they

Want to

Be forgiven

Never mind that

A girl who still isn't

Eleven is slowly dying from

Pain

Suffering

Blame

Guilt

Blood

As ghosts

This is all they know

Right now but

The woman

The tortured soul

Lets out a

Scream that

Everyone turns to but

When ghosts want

Relief from

Pain

Suffering

Blame

Guilt

Blood

They all become

No eyes

Their eyes are

Black

Empty holes

Nothing

Because

They need

Me

Me to destroy the evidence

To listen

To become a substitute for

Their suffering because

As humans we're greedy

We don't want to suffer

We want to live in

Comfort and

Peace but then

Crash

Crunch

Curses

"Beri Mae are you out here Beri Mae Beri please answer me"

The ghosts

Swivel their heads but

Barry is

Greedy and runs to my hand and he

Makes me

Focus and I

Ease his suffering but now

Everyone sees and they start pushing

But I see memories

Barry

Dragging a seventeen-year-old girl into a field

She's pleading

She won't tell anyone what she did she promises

But Barry

Picks up a shovel and digs a hole

He bends the girl so

She'll fit and he

Buries her slowly

Enjoying her screams

Lizzie

Watching by the door as

Her friend Michelle

Heaves the axe on

Lizzie's sleeping parents

Lizzie could have stopped her

She should have stopped her

But her parents told her what she felt for Michelle was

Wrong and they

Hit her and

Starved her until

She agreed with them but she

Met Michelle in secret and

Michelle said she wanted to tell people and

Maybe leave town to the

Unfound Lands where

They could make their own rules

Lizzie said she had to take care of her parents

Michelle took care of them for her

Al

Showing people his

Atom-smashing equation

People bottling it up inside a metal casket

The explosions

Al watched in horror as they used his formula

(Which could create world peace)

To destroy a small town in Japan

(He was dead but he watched to welcome people)

He watched a young girl get

Cancer and try to fold

A thousand paper cranes

He helped her

The girl didn't tell anyone about the

Visitor at night who folded delicate paper cranes for her

He watched in pain as she died

Slowly leaving

Not even a ghost

Amadeus

Telling his student that it would be fine

It was expected

Don't worry everyone agrees

Him marrying his wife

Her begging him not to kill the child

Him barely stopping in time

Jack

Killing a young girl in England

After pleasentries

Continuing

Killing another

And another

Until it's like smoking

Every minute he thinks about it

The knife slowly carving through their skin

Subtly twisting their necks

The pleasentries

He just keeps killing because

It's therapeutic

He needs some therapy

He doesn't really like

Pleasentries but

It's expected of someone only killing girls

He kills them to get rid of competition

He doesn't like girls

At all

He found them totally disgusting

But boys were perfect

Shaped wonderfully

Perfectly proportioned

But not for him

Apparently

I don't feel any more

I fell like the eyes

Tired

Dead

Empty

Black

Nothing

I guess I collapse

My cheek

Feels wet but

Not for long

I don't uncurl

I need to stay like this

Otherwise the

Bad gets in

The bad isn't here yet

If I stay like this it won't ever come back

I hear Xana howling in pain

041623 talks to me

(From a distance) and

A new voice talks but

(Not to me) and says

"Mr. Delmas we found her she was curled up in front of some old house she kept

Whimpering about the blood"

And the one he called

Mr. Delmas says

"Oh dear god get her to the infirmary" and I can tell that

My Downstairs Neighbor would like him and his

Dear god

I get very cold when we go to

The infirmary and a woman says

"I've been waiting set her down" and I'm

Lying on a vinyl thing

The woman tries to

Make me

"Say ahhh" but I don't say ahh

I just lie there

The woman gives up and

Pulls an ear thermometer out of her cabinet and

Gasps and says

"Good heavens she's only at 90 degrees Fahrenheit we must get her to a hospital"

My Downstairs Neighbor wouldn't like this one as much since

Heavens are always good but the woman doesn't care

She just wraps me in a thick blanket and

Instinctively I

Pull the blankets tighter around me but

The cold I have is

Ghost chill which is

Ghostly temperature in a human which happens when

I take too many memories of ghosts

The one who carried me here picks me up

Blanket and all but

It probably just feels like

Blanket since

I don't weigh that much

The woman is talking and she says

"Yes we have an emergency at Kadic

We recently found a missing student

She has an abnormally low temperature

Ninety degrees Fahrenheit

Can you send an ambulance

Of course she's in a blanket

Do you think I'm an idiot" and on that jolly note she

Slams down the phone and says

"The ambulance will be here soon

Make sure she stays here until the paramedics arrive"

The boy says

"Yes" but not

Of course yes more

What's she gonna do yes and when

The woman leaves and then

The boy leaves and I say

"Please" and the boy

Stops and says

"What" and I say

"Please stay I need someone here" and he

Stays instead of

Going and now

We're in the room with

Two women

The tortured soul and

Sissi's mother are talking and Sissi's mom says

"This is simply unforgivable

I tolerated you walking through students

Scaring the maintenance man

But this is too far"

"Anthea"

"What"

"My name is

Anthea"

"How do you know"

"The girl

She took away the torture

And thank you

Eliza

Thank you"

I struggled up

Out of the blanket because

Sissi's mom

(Eliza)

Sounds tortured right now

(Probably thinking of her little drowned daughter)

And Granny said that since I was

Sighted, I had to help the

Tortured souls so I sit up and say

"I could do it to you if you want" and Eliza says

"I couldn't do that to you" and I nod and the boy looks at me like

"Who was she talking to" but

I'm already really cold and I'm

Pulling the blanket back over my head when a

Giant white bubble engulfs me and

My alarm goes off

(Fifteen minutes later than usual) and

I'm so cold but I see a

Ghost and it's me and it's

Hurrying towards the bathrooms and

Flash

I remember

I remember

Anthea and how she

Died inside and how she

Watched her daughter die inside and

I remember how

Lizzie watched her girlfriend

Kill her parents and felt

Nothing and how

Barry

Buried the girl and listened to

The girl scream and how he just

Smiled and I remember how

Al watched as his

Equation killed an entire village of people in Japan and how

Jack would murder

College-age girls and have

Pleasentries with them first and I get

Cold and I stay in bed for the rest of the

Day and no one comes to

Check on me and I feel sort of like

They all forgot me and then

Around sixish

(Which was when I left Xana)

I get really cold and

I start shivering and

Shaking and

My vision starts to blur and

I scream because

I'm going through the memories and

I just see the worst parts the

Pleasentries

Splashing blood

Hearing screams

And the best parts the

Soft shhh of knife through skin

Pleasentries

Screams

Realizing freedom

But

It's too much for me so I

Scream and

Kick and try to

Get rid of the memories and

The door creaks and groans and

Someone shoves their way in and it's

Sissi and she

Screams but

She's not really in my room because

Her ghost isn't here and

People lie but

Ghosts don't.


	5. Chapter 5

I can't open my eyes because

I'm too busy seeing the memories and

All these memories are powerful and

I can't escape them and

No one's coming to get me

This time and

There's smoke

Everywhere

Burning my throat

Clawing at my eyes

It's so warm and

I walk forward

(To my room) and

My legs are on fire and

The cuts are opening again

There's blood pouring down my legs

The flames lick at the cuts

Trying to get the blood

A shade

(A ghost but alive)

Watches from the curtains but

It has no eyes or

Facial features it just

Blends in with the

Smoke but it has sort of a

Glow that makes it stand out and

I close my eyes because

No one's coming for me

No one ever comes for me

Xana didn't come for me

041623 didn't come for me

The firemen didn't come for me

Mommy didn't come for me

Daddy didn't come for me

No one comes for me

"Help!"

I scream but

No one helps

No one ever helps

Not in the fire

Or the clearing

Or when Mommy grabbed the

Knife or when Daddy grabbed his

Gun when I was

Four and now

I remember the

(Suspicious)

House fire and how I

Watched

Daddy's gun melt away and

Mommy's knife cut out my

Blood and those

Knives and

Guns melt and

Disappear and

"Nurse Yolanda"

Someone yells and then

The fire is gone

The memories are gone and

"Please stop"

I say and whoever was

Carrying me says

"What" and I say

(Louder)

"Please stop" and then

Their voice says

(Differently)

"Okay Beri" and I

Remember that it's

Xana's voice and he

Sets me back down in bed and

I go to sleep

And I dream

I dream that I'm

In that painting

The one by that guy

With the melting clocks and

Xana's saying

"Time is running out" and

041623 chimes in with

"Hurry Beri" and then

Mommy comes in and

Smiles at me and says

"Time is what keeps you here

Alive or else you would be

Gone

Disappeared

Dead" and I

Shudder because she said that before the

(Suspicious)

House fire and then

Daddy comes and says

"Little girls

Don't see ghosts

Don't tell Mommy

And stay in their

Rooms" and

Daddy said this before the

(Suspicious)

House fire and then the

Clocks change into

Daddy's gun and

Mommy's knife and

The piece of rope and I see

Death

(The person) and he says

"Beri come with me

Away from these horrible people" and I'm

Choking on nothing and

Gagging on smoke and I

Wake up and

The flames are

Licking at my feet and I

Scream because I have

Pyrophobia which is

Fear of fire and I

Close my eyes and

Count to ten and

The fire's still there but

It's not so scary now and I

Stumble over the floor and

Hear crashing glass and think

Window and I was

Right because I land on the

Azaleas Eliza likes and I

Stumble away so

Eliza won't know and go to

The factory to see

Xana because

I don't know what to do and

Even if I leave

My file says

AT

Which Johnny said meant

Amazingly Talented

But I know it means

Arson/Trauma because

Mary has lots of wine and was talking

To Ramona about

The little freak which

I guess is me since

Mary doesn't like freaks and then I'm

At the

Ermitage and

Anthea is there standing next to a man with

Dark brown hair and

Glasses and a

Dark brown beard and

Anthea whispers to him and they

Move through the forest

Maybe to the school

Maybe the factory but I

Don't care because

Something is pulling me into the

House and it's

Very powerful so I

Can't resist it and

When I'm in the hall I see

Three men wearing dark suits

Dark glasses

They have reddish

Stains on their clothes and

The first one looks up and says

"She was so young" and

Drops his head while the

Second one says

"Barely more than a child" and he drops

His head while the

Third one says

"And we came to kill her" and then they

Sink through the floor

Smiling

Free from this earth with

Their final confession done but

Something is still pulling me

It's above me so I

Climb the stairs and

Turn into a

Little girl's room

Covered in pink

And posters

A safe

(Empty now)

But something still pulls me

Towards a poster of a

Unicorn and I

Peel back the corner and

A note's there

It says

'If you found this you are

Sighted and we

Need your help' and I

Collapse because

Suddenly

I feel all their voices pressing down on me

Screaming at me

"Help us help us"

"We need your help"

"Please get us out of here"

"Save us from Xana"

Why is Xana hurting someone?


	6. Chapter 6

**Okay, Beri Mae is actually fourteen right now since this story takes place between CL and CLE so yeah. Her parents died when she was nine and she tried to commit suicide at age eleven. That's all.**

I stay curled up

On the floor

In the room

For a long time

I can't get up

Too many voices pressing down on me

Calling me

Calling for help

And then

Nothing

I open my eyes

Expecting to see the ghost kids

But

I'm not in the

Ermitage

I'm in

Nothing-space

No ghosts

Granny taught me about this place

A place to be calm

I can't usually get here

I'm good at denying my emotions

It scares people

I stand in

Nowhere and

Realize

I'm not in

Nowhere

I'm in my

Apartment

Sarah and

Tripp and

Anne

(The ghost children)

Are with me

Staring at me sadly

I turn and

Realize that I'm

Memory walking

Where someone else takes my memories

This is one before the fire

No heat

I'm in the living room

It's a Sunday

Sundays were the worst days

Daddy was angrier on

Sundays

He called them

Lord's Day and

That was why

My Downstairs Neighbor

Liked him so much with his

Lord's Day but

I didn't like

Lord's days

Daddy hated me more then

Since I was

Spawn of the devil

Wicked

Cursed child

So he

Hit harder on

Sundays

Never drunk though

Not on Lord's Day

He just hit

And kicked

Choked sometimes

Shot a few times

But I learned to

Deal With It

It happened once a week

But this was a bad

Lord's Day

Granny had just died

I was talking to her once

Daddy heard and

Grabbed me by the

Hair and pulled me into the

Living Room

Johnny moved to his room

Daddy grabbed his ear and said

"Watch Johnny

And remember the lesson I'm teaching" and

Daddy grabbed his gun and

Hit me in the back

Of the head

Granny and

Lizzie and

Al and

Amadeus

Glaring at

Daddy and I

Lay on the floor because

Moving makes things worse

Daddy didn't like moving

Johnny watched as

Daddy

Kicked me in the chest

Tore at my legs with knives

Mommy's knife

Shot me in the leg but

He didn't help me

That was when I

Stopped believing in

Life and started

Believing in

Death

Not

Ghost Death

Death

I didn't want to be a ghost

No one could see me

Full death

Would be much nicer

At school

On Monday

The teacher stared

At my arms and

Legs and

Head wound but

Said nothing

Like Johnny

No one says anything

I turned back to

Sarah and

Tripp and

Anne and said

"It's gone now

In the past" but now

Sarah and

Tripp and

Anne are scared and I

Turn and I see

Daddy

As a ghost

Lumbering towards me and I

Scramble up because

Ghosts are more

Scary than humans and more

Deadly too so I

Look for an exit but

Remember I'm in

Nowhere so I

Punch myself

Pain gets me to

Earth and

Daddy's almost to me

He's in front of me

I can't get through the door

Nowhere to hide

Nowhere to go

Except

Except the window

I turn

Even though it's risky

And jump and feel

More glass digging into my body

I land though

And run

Faster than I've ever ran before

And I'm back at the school

But the fire's still there

No one's coming

I don't see

Ghost Shadows

(Like death forecasts)

So I figure everyone's

Okay so I

Hide in the

Gardener's shed

Which is abandoned

No one ever comes in here

No one's in here now

So I walk to the corner of it

I see a razor

Pull it up to my eyes and

Remember the

Brief peace of

Total Death and

Looking at my frail wrists

Wonder how long it would take

Pull it across one

Gasp at the warmth of the blood

Feel the

Memories drain away

With the blood

No one else understands

Why I cut

It's too get rid of some of it

Too much happens in my head

Too many bad things

Cutting helps get some of it out

I spy

Gauze on a shelf and

Climb the case to get it

Wrap it carefully around the wound

Leave the shed

Walk to an

Unknown place

A graveyard

For people of

Kadic

Who've died

I stop when I hear

Someone talking to a ghost

Not on purpose though

"Mommy

I met a girl who looks like

Amelia a few days ago

She's really sweet

You'd like her

She's just like

Amelia Mommy

Swear

Time for

Other things Mommy

Ulrich hates me

He told me he hates me

Mommy I don't try to be mean

I don't

But Odd

He doesn't like me

Mommy I think

They all hate me

Yumi doesn't like me

For trying to take

Ulrich and

Aelita doesn't like me

I yelled at her once

Mommy

For waking me up in

The middle of the night

They don't look past that

Mommy

They just see that"

And I leave then

This is getting

Way too personal for

My tastes

I don't try to

Listen to

Ghost's Talks

With The Living

But sometimes

I have to do it

For kids like

Amelia who

Died before they had

Ghosts which is always sad

I walk in the

Forest

Not knowing where I'm going

Until I see the

Factory and I

Walk in to

Talk to Lizie

Who I need right now

I need to talk to someone

Not alive

Because I need

Help right now and

She seems like the perfect choice

She always knows what to do

But

She's not here right now

Different people are here

A blonde girl

A goth girl

A blonde boy

A pink-haired girl who

Reminds me of Anthea and

041623 and a

Brunette

And they're standing around

Xana's computer

Talking

So I

Climb into the rafters and

Listen

"Someone turned it back on"

Said the blonde boy

"You don't say Einstein"

The brunette said

"Yeah Einstein obvious much"

041623 said

"But guys we need to know

Who turned it on"

Einstein says

"So we'll have to go back to Lyoko"

I don't see why they

Have to go to

Lyoko

It's not like

Anything evil's

On Lyoko

Evil dwells in the hearts if men

"Not true

Not true"

Tripp says

"Xana's evil

Remember"

Anne says

"He imprisoned us"

Sarah said

But

I know they're wrong

Xana wouldn't hurt anyone

He promised

Told me he didn't remember

Maybe

Xana doesn't remember

These kids

Who think he hurt them

When

It's so obvious

Xana wouldn't hurt

Anyone

He's too

Nice for that

"Right now Jeremie"

041623 asks and

Jeremie says

"Unfortunately yes Odd

We have to make sure

Everything's okay" and

Odd nodded and said

"Okay then let's get this over with" and

I watched

Like a coward

From the rafters and

I know what you're thinking

You're thinking

"Go follow them

We need a climax" but

Sometimes you don't want

To look the monster in the eyes

Like how

You don't want to

Talk to the elephant in the room which

Is a shame because

Elephants are quite interesting

But anyway I

Left the factory but

I could swear that

Odd looked back

But maybe

It was just my imagination.

I leave the

Factory and

Stretch my legs

Take off running

Running is good

Ghosts can't keep up if you're

Running because

Ghosts only

Float and I

Need to think by myself and

I realize I ran to

The Ermitage and

The flames were licking the walls

Like from the newspaper

And I stand there

The flames aren't catching anything else

Just the house and

Eventually the house is

All gone

Ashes, ashes

It all fell down and

I walk to the center

Of where the house was

Draw an enormous

Pentagram and know

The men in black are

Safe in the afterlife

And I

Move all the ashes

No need for the star

And I find

A blue necklace

Hung on amethyst string

With the words

Securus de filia mea malum

On it and

Anne whispers

"That was mine" and I

Start because

She got here really fast and she

Smiles at me and

I suddenly feel very young

Holding her necklace

Standing in ashes

And I'm fourteen

And I'm only

Five foot two

So I feel

Too young to

Deal with this so I

Run away and

Find myself on campus

The flames are gone now

It's just a bunch of brick buildings

Standing around

And I

Find a ladder

Propped against the dorms so I

Climb it and end up on the

Roof which is convenient since

My room's on the

Second floor and

I discovered this

Slide thing that goes

Straight down to the

Girls' dorms and

I'm really tired tonight so

I don't really notice

A girl

With pink hair

Hiding behind the stair opening

Watching me.


	7. Chapter 7

I don't

Wake up until

At least one so

It's a good thing

It's a

Sunday and I

Don't have classes

No homework either but

I have to

Go to

The Emitage to see

If

It's still

Gone or

There like

The dorms were

I

Slide into a

White

Powerpuff girl dress and put on

White knee socks

A white bow in my hair

White Mary Jane shoes

And I

Walk out of the dorms and

Into the forest and

I see

Lizzie waiting and also

A boy

Whose name I forgot

Who has purple clothes

And blonde hair

And he's

Crouching

In a tree so I

Look up at him and

He pretends not to notice so I

Wave and he

Looks behind him like

I don't see him so I

Climb the tree and say

"Dude I can totally see you" and he

Jumps and says

"Oh just checking" and he

Runs away

To his dorm and I

Jump down and

Start walking towards

Lizzie but I see

Fake ghosts like

Me going to shower and

One of them's the

Brunette from last night

Wearing winter clothes and

Kneeling next to the

Goth girl who's pinned under a

Ghost tree and when I

Walk over to them the

Brunette looks up from

Gothie's frozen body and says

"C-c-c-cold

C-c-c-can you h-h-h-help us

G-g-g-go t-t-to the old f-f-f-factory and f-f-f-find

J-j-j-Jeremie B-b-Belpois.

T-t-t-tell h-h-him to s-s-start the

R-r-return to the p-p-p-past"

Brunette passes out next to Gothie

I stand there because

Fake ghosts don't talk to me and

White light

Covers me and

I can't see in the

Whiteness

Nothing's there

I fall over backwards

Someone yells out

"Beri" and

Someone's next to me

Shouting in my ear

"Beri Beri

Wake up

Wake up" and

Someone's carrying me but

Not towards the

Infirmary towards the

Factory and they

Climb down a ladder

Walk the whole way

No wheels they

Run though and

We're in the factory

They yell

"Jeremie

Beri needs to be

Virtualized" and

Jeremie says

"No Odd

I'm investigating

You should take her to the

Infirmary" and

Smack

"Ow"

"Do it

Now" and

Jeremie mutter

"Ok

Ok" and

Odd carries me to a

Room and

Sets me in a

Scanner and say

"Just stay calm

Beri

It'll be okay" and I

Think I nod but

Maybe

He just saw my

Head roll into my chest because he

Moves away from my scanner and

Steps into his own and

Jeremie's voice echoes

"Transfer

Beri

Transfer

Odd

Scanner

Beri

Scanner

Odd

Virtualization" and

I'm on

Lyoko now and

I still can't see

All there is is

Whiteness and

Someone's screaming

"Beri

Beri

Beri get up

Please

Beri

Get

Up" and I wonder

Can't they see the whiteness but

Something's coming for me

Out of the blank space

It looks like a

Key sort of

A target with a

Dash on top and

Three dashes on the bottom I

Follow it and it

Leads me to a

Tower and I

Walk in and

Someone turns around

It's the pink haired girl

I wave awkwardly because

There's really nothing else

To do in

This situation she

Looks up and

Yells

"Jeremie

Why's a girl here" and

Jeremie starts talking about

Odd and

Slapping and

Desperate and the

Girl walks over to me and

Looks me in the eyes and I know

032985 and then she

Walks away from me and

Taps the panel in the

Center of the platform and

Says

"Jeremie

If she's not going to help

Can she leave" and I think

Why does she hate me because

No one else seems to mind

Me being in the tower

But maybe that's because

They don't think

I could handle it and

I think that they're a

Bunch of jerks because

I needed help and

Odd helped me and now

No one else wants to

Help.

**Review if you think you know why Beri Mae's blinded by the light! XD. Old music reference. But seriously, press the pretty button that says review. C'mon, even XANA thinks you should press it.**


	8. Chapter 8

**Wow. I swear in this chapter. I don't usually swear...ever...if you've read my other stuff. It's pretty minor though. Review and answer the poll on my blog.**

I don't think

I should stay in the tower

Aelita keeps

Glaring at me and

Muttering under her breath and

Now that the light's gone I think

I could probably leave the tower so I

Jump down to the

Lower platform and

Carefully walk

Into the wall because

I'm not entirely sure how else I would

Get out of the tower and

Walking out feels like

When you walk through a

Ghost all

Cold and

Slimy and

Weird

When I'm

Out of the

Tower I see

Odd standing

Near an

Outcropping of

Rocks and he

Looks over at me and

Runs super fast over to me

Shouting

"Beri

Beri

Are you okay" and he

Hugs me really tight and

I can barely answer him because

I feel out of breath and then a

Brunette runs over

Saying

"Odd

Is this the

Freaky girl

You told us about" and I'm

About to

Say that

I'm not freaky but I

Don't even bother opening my mouth because

I am kind of creepy but

Odd glares at him and

Says

"She isn't freaky Ulrich

Just different" and I'm

Touched because no one

Else says things like

That to me so I think it's

Sweet then

Jeremie interrupts and says

"Time for a crash course

Beri

Your job is to

Beat all the

Kankrelots

The little things with

Crab shells" and I

Look at my

(Familiar)

Lyoko outfit and

When I

Pull off my

Spiked bracelet it

Turns into a

Frisbee thing that's

Covered in spikes but I

Instinctively know how to hold it and

Then the monsters come

Waves of them there's a

Wave of blockish things then

Weird rolling spheres then

Tall things that

Look like

Daddy longlegs and then

A giant jellyfish

Blue and ethereal

I would think

It was a ghost in real life

But here it's just

Some kind of powerful monster

I don't see anything

Resembling

Kankrelots though then I

Look down and

See this

Tiny monster and I

Roll my eyes and

Step on it and

There goes one of them and then

Several more come up

I can't step on them so I

Throw my bracelet and it

Turns into a

Boomerang and it

Destroys all the

Kankrelots and I

Put my

(Braceletless)

Arm into the air and

The bracelet

Flies into my wrist and

Wraps around it and

I grin because

I like my new toys and then a

Daddy longlegs thing

Kneels down and

Pushes its head under my feet so

I fall backwards on its head and it

Scuttles away

Super quick and then

Odd's behind me

Then in front then

Daddy long legs shoots him

He looks at me while

He dissolves into cubes and

He's still there but now

He's an almost-ghost and

He disappears soon too and

The spider thing

Ran faster and

I lay back and

Closed my eyes because

Xana's eye was

On the spider so

I can't be in too much trouble

I hope because

Ulrich's screaming and

Jeremie's yelling and

Smash

Blang

All the ghosts are there

The almost people

The almost ghosts there's

Ulrich guarding a

Tower and

Yumi throwing a

Fan and

Odd shooting at a

Bug and

Aelita with a

Force field and

Jeremie in a

Ridiculous outfit

He's in a

Tweed jacket and

Purple sweatpants and

Power Rangers goggles and

All the almost ghosts

Crowd around me

Shouting at me

Calling for me

Walking with me and

They seem to guard me but

All they're doing is

Walking and

Begging for

Release and

I think of

Lizzie when I

First met her I was

Two and she

Looked at me and said

"You can see me

Can't you

Release me please

I can't take it" and I

Walked over to her and

Shook my head

Granny said

No releasing so I

Couldn't but anyway

They kept on

Yelling at me and

Talking to me and I

Covered my ears but

Jeremie kept yelling for

Me to

Jump or

Devirtualize myself or

Run or

Kill the monster or

Just run

Dammit

God Beri

Odd's gonna kill me

Hurry up and run

I curl into a ball and

Try to ignore the voices and

Then Xana grabs my hands and

Lifts me up and

Says

"Don't worry Beri

You're safe now."


	9. Chapter 9

**For the last chapter, Beri was blinded because she kept seeing "ghosts" of the return to the past trips, like how she saw "almost ghosts" of the people and what they were doing before they got sent to the past. Being psychic is confusing. Also, do you people really want me to give away one of my stories and start a new one? Come on!**

I curl up

A little in

Xana's arms and he

Sort of smiles

I guess because he

Murmurs to the

Spider thing

"You may leave" and it

Sort of reminds me of

Other people's voices when

They tell jokes but

Only to each other

Not me

Not Psycho

Xana walks forward and

Sets me down and I

Uncover my ears a little but

I can't keep them like that for long because

Thousands and

Millions and

Billions of monsters are

Crawling around and

They're sort of

Fuzzy and

See-through and

They're almost ghosts

I'm surrounded

I'm almost never surrounded by

Dead people or

Animals or

Whatever else things are

So I

Cover my eyes again and

Xana walks around a little

And the ghosts

Crowd around me and

It's hard to breathe but

I'm not breathing here and

That realization

Makes me realize

I'm not breathing and

Dead people

Don't

Breathe and

I don't want to be dead

Now but I'm

Heaving and

Gasping for air and

I can't breathe and

My eyes are closed and

Xana's gone and

There's air again

I can breathe but

When I open my eyes

I'm in the tube and

It's full of

Almost ghosts there's

Odds and

Yumis and

Ulrichs and a

Jeremie but

These aren't real ghosts they're

Fake ghosts and

They aren't talking to me

It's far too

Crowded and

Cramped in here I

Can't breathe and I

Scream and I

Pound on the door and

It's getting harder to

Breathe now and

I can't scream now but I

Keep pounding on the

Tube's door but now

It's too crowded and I

Can't move anymore I just

Slump against the

Back of the tube but

Someone's starting to

Scream and they're

Running into the room and they yell

"Beri Beri

Where are you

Are you okay" and they

Bang on the door and

Try to force it open and

Call

"Jeremie

Open the scanner door

Beri's inside" but I

Can't breathe really well and

Spots are blocking out the

Tube and I

Can't see and

Whoosh

The doors are open but

I don't have enough

Oxygen and I

Fall over into the

Arms of whoever

Opened the tube and

Someone squeals and

Says something about

Standing up and

Getting to the

Nurse but I can't

Stand up anymore and the one who

Caught me

Falls over and

Someone else picks him up and

Lets him

Sort of

Drag me out and

Someone laughs but the

First one

Hisses at him and

Then

I think I'm

In the

Infirmary because

There's a

Lot of ghosts here and

Ghosts almost

Always hang out in

Infirmaries because of

How many people

Die there and

Judging by the noise the

Kadic infirmary

Doesn't have a great

Track record but

Anthea and

Eliza are here and they're

Shooing out all the

Other ghosts in the room and they're

Complaining about how

They want to

Watch the psychic die and

I know that

They mean me and

I know that

That means that

I'm dying but

I don't know when

I'll die I mean

I can't see my

Ghost echo I just know

I'll be dead soon

I open my eyes and

041623's standing over me and a

Nurse is on the phone and

She's saying

"I know

Mr. Jamison

Mr. Jamison

Please calm down

Of course

We'll send her home

Right away" and

That means that I'm in

Big trouble because

Mary doesn't like

Taking care of me and

Johnny starts remembering

Mommy and

Daddy and then he gets

Angry and tired and sad and

I really don't want to get sent home but

Daddy probably won't

Follow me home this time because

Daddy liked Johnny instead of

Me so he won't risk

Hurting Johnny just to

Kill me and

I know that's what he

Wants to do because

Daddy's tried to

Kill me before but

Obviously it

Didn't work out too well since

I'm still alive and

Worried about him

Killing me which

Dead people don't have to

Worry about which means that

I have to go back to

Johnny's even though

I really didn't like

Staying at Johnny's because

No one there

Likes me and

Mary's there and

I don't like Mary so

I hope Mary's on a

Business trip so

I won't have to see her for

The whole trip maybe it

Depends on

How long I'm staying there before

Johnny decides that

I'm fine and

Sends me back to Kadic or if

He decides I'll

Never get better and he

Keeps me in the

U.S. and just

Send me to another school unless

He thinks I should

Stay home instead but

Judging by what I

Just saw this will be a

Very exciting school indeed so

I hope he doesn't

Keep me in the

U.S. since

This school is much better than

Any school in

New York is and even

In the US is so

I'm going to fake being fine since

Not only is

No one ever just

Fine I'm also

Really sick so

Fine counting

Emotionally and

Physically I'm

Not doing too well there and

"She's awake"

041623 yells and

Suddenly I'm

All the way awake not just

Stuck in that

In-between place where

Everything's funny and

You can't take anything

Seriously and then

Someone's shoving a

Cell phone up against my ear and

Johnny says

"Beri

Are you okay

The nurse said that

It looked like you'd been

Choked are you

Okay do you

Need to come home

Right

Stupid question of

Course you do

Hang on I'm

Booking you a ticket wait

Do you need to

Come home I mean

Is it that bad or

Is it just a

Breakdown" but he

Whispers that

Last part like

Breakdown is a

Code word for a

Revolution and I

Think care fully about

His questions and

Answer them in order and

Of course

Johnny will understand since

He thinks the

Same way I do so I

Say

"Yes

Yes

No

No

No" and

Johnny sighs and says

"Great Beri just

Be careful

Okay I'm

Really worried about you" and I say

"Don't worry Johnny

I'll be fine

Okay bye see you at break" and I

Click off the

Phone and

Everyone's staring at me so I

Ask "What" and

041623 points at my

Head and I

Reach up and

Feel the

Spot he was

Pointing at and

It's covered in

Blood.


	10. Chapter 10

**Oh dearie me...this will be an extremely dark chapter. You have been warned. I mean seriously, I'm an atheist but I'm pretty sure that I'm going to hell after writing this. Seriously dark stuff. Really, compared to this, my story "Almost" is the story about a kitten finding its home. O get how evil I am in this chapter, so you don't need to flame me about it.**

I'm bleeding

I raise my hand back

Up to my head

I'm bleeding a lot I

Slowly stand up and

Dab at the blood with

The blanket and I

Realize that

This is a serious head wound so

I'll have to go home since

Johnny'll be so worried

But I

Just got off the phone with him so

Maybe they won't make me call him because

I'm feeling a bit dizzy so I

Think I'll lay back and

Rest my eyes for a few minutes but

Someone shakes me and

I have to open my eyes but

It's 041623 and

I've heard he likes to

Play pranks on people so I

Guess he's pulling a

Prank on me so I

Fall back asleep and

He tries to wake me

Up again but

I'm really tired and I

Fall asleep and I

Really wouldn't mind

Not waking up but

I guess

041623 has

Different plans because

He shakes me

Really hard and

Screams in my ear but

I'm really tired right now and

All I want is for him to

Leave me alone and

Let me sleep but

I guess everyone has different plans because

Eliza is also there and

She's trying to get me to wake up but

I'm really tired and

I don't think anything could wake me up right now but

Then some girl

Walks in and starts

Yelling at

041623 and says

"Hurry up Odd

We have to go there's been a

Xana attack and

Ulrich got devirtualized and

You're the only one left who can

Put in the codes" but

041623 doesn't

Like her idea I guess since

He won't leave me and has a

Long but

Quiet argument with the girl but

A few seconds later he

Walks back over to me and

Puts a hand on my cheek and says

"Sorry Beri but

I have to go now

Don't worry I'll be back

And don't let the lights go out" and then he

Leaves and I

Blink and I realize that

I'm not me well

I am me but not

Me me well

Mind wise I'm me but

Body wise I'm nonexistent and I

Look down on my body and think

That this means I'm dying but

I don't want to die

For the first time ever I

Really really don't want to die so I

Clench my not really there fists and

Focus really hard and

Focus on me being in my

Body and just

Concentrate and

Concentrate and

Concentrate and

I'm back in my

Body and I can

Breathe but

I can't see what's happening because

I'm memory walking again and

This one isn't a good one

Mommy was smoking again and

I was sitting in the

Kitchen with her and

Barry was there too and

I was really young

Only about four

I think and I

Didn't know not to

Talk to ghosts yet so I

Was talking to Barry and

Mommy didn't like it and

"Who are you talking to" Mommy asked and

I said "Barry" and Mommy said

"Who's Barry your imaginary friend" and I said

"No Barry's not my friend and he's not

Imaginary he's a person 'cept he

Died and now he's a

Ghost" and Mommy

Frowned and glared and said

"No ghosts don't exist" and I said

"Sure they do

Like Barry" and Mommy

Frowned a little more and

Walked over to me and

Grabbed my shoulders and

Said "Ghosts don't exist" and I said

"Yes they do" and Mommy

Burned her cigarette into my skin and I

Screamed and Mommy said

"Ghosts don't exist" but I

Was naïve and said

"Yes they do" and Mommy

Put her cigarette back on my skin

Harder and

Left a permanent burn mark and

Said

"Say it with me

Ghosts don't exist" and I was

Crying but I said

"Ghosts don't exist" and Mommy

Said "Good girl" and then she

Slapped me and I

Don't know why but I

Stopped talking after that and

Mommy kept smoking and

I guess that memory is over because I

See what's going on now

Anthea and

Eliza and

Nurse Yolanda are all

Leaning over the bed and I'm

A little freaked out but

I don't have much time to react to this since

The power goes out and

No one can see anything except

Me and what I see is

Xana and he's

Standing in the corner

Watching me and

When I notice him he

Grins at me and

Suddenly he

Disappears so

I guess he's busy with something or other but

I have bigger problems for instance my

Ghost dad just

Pushed me out of a

Fourth-story window and

I'm guessing no one else saw him do it.


	11. Chapter 11

**Okay. So I know it's been a while for this story, but I am absolutely in ****_love_**** with the plot. Also, poll on my blog, if you don't know what I mean just vote for the one that starts with a J. Also, I have apparently lost the ability to write beginnings to stories, so if anyone would volunteer to help me write the beginning to a plot bunny that is currently stealing all other ideas I might have from my brain garden, I would be very pleased. Also, I got a tumblr! I'm potterwholocked fowl on tumblr and yes that's how it looks I checked. Anyways, enjoy!**

It's not such a

Good week for those

Azaleas Eliza likes so much since I

Land on them again and

This time they get kind of

Bloody so I figure that

These azaleas are either going to

Be crushed in my

Endlessly falling out of windows or

End up really really ugly from all the

Blood that usually comes with

Falling out of windows so

If I were the gardener I would

Move those azaleas or

Put screens in the windows since

Otherwise they'll be

Crushed but

Right now I should

Focus on getting back to the

Infirmary but

You know what

I'm going to the Ermitage because

I don't want to be on the

Watch list for

Jumping out of a window and

I should really check on the pentagram and

Make sure there aren't any more

Ghosts there or I should

Warn them away in case of

My dad coming back since

Ghosts can technically kill

Other ghosts and

I really would hate if

Anthea or that

Brown-haired man who I think

Is in love with her

Died and

Anyway I'm

Kind of tired of

People staring at me like

I'm about to go insane like

Harriett Wiolding did in the

Seventh grade and

That was one of the scariest days of my life but

Anyway I am supposed to be

Going to the

Ermitage and maybe I should

Make sure it's really

Burned down since

I imagined that fire from the

School and

Right now the

Whole fire thing

Isn't doing much good for my

Mind but

Anyway

Ermitage and

Now that I have seen those

Almost ghosts from

Other pasts which

Confuses me a lot but

Right now I am

Dealing with it and

Over there is Ulrich and Yumi

Under a tree and

Yumi over by the entrance getting

Hit by a laser and

Ulrich and a blonde and Sissi and a redhead

In the cafeteria with the

Goth boy guarding them against

Zombies and

Ulrich and the

Blonde don't look too

Happy based on the fact that

They're stuck in a corner and

The goth looks like he

Hit them back with a

Cafeteria tray

"Hey Beri

I guess your dad

Had another visit

Huh" and it's

Tripp one of those

Ghost kids who

I accidentally saved from

Xana but I

Still don't think it's Xana

And

"What was your

First hint the

Bloody azaleas or the

Scrapes all over my

Body" and I feel kind of

Guilty for

Being rude to him when

All he probably wants is to

Stop being a ghost so

Maybe I shouldn't have

Been so rude but

"Geez Beri

No need to be rude I mean

I don't have the boyfriend who

Tries to kill people

Every day and also has

Major daddy issues but" and

Sarah comes up and

Hits the back of

Tripp's head but I don't think she

Really wanted to since I

See the way that they

Look at each other right now and

I know what that means based on

Johnny and Mary who

Look at each other even though

I still think Mary is

Sort of

Evil and

Anyway right now I'm

Running towards the

Ermitage because what I'm

Thinking right now would

Not make Johnny or

Xana happy but

Right now I'm

At the Ermitage and

The pentagram is

Still there so

That is just fantastic and

Someone is coming and

I should really run now but

Daddy's home and

Daddy's about to

Kill me and

I can't see Lizzie so

I can either

Stand still or

Run into whoever's

Chasing me or

Get

Really really lost so

I'm opting for the

Stay here option even though

Daddy might kill me and

Someone else might

Institutionalize me but

"Beri

Beri

Beri where are you

Beri

Holy crap

Beri

Beri

Stay calm"

And I wonder

Why wouldn't I stay calm

It's not like

This is the worst thing that's

Ever happened to me but I

Blink and suddenly

Daddy's gone and it's

Something very very very

Not good and I

Squeak and fall backwards and

Someone hisses for me to

Keep Quiet and

Don't Move but

I'm thinking that

Might not be such a

Good idea since the

Whatever it is is

Approaching me

Not so slowly and

It doesn't seem to be an

Herbivore so

I'd say

Running is a

Better plan than whatever

The person behind me thinks but

As soon as I

Stand up to run my

Legs turn into jelly and I

Collapse again a

Bit more loudly and the

Whatever it is comes

Even closer to me and I

Squeeze my eyes shut and

Hold my breath.


End file.
